My name is Annalee and I am a twenty-something wife, daughter, friend, and mother. I am also a teacher and a lover of the arts. My first born and only child is an angel baby. You can read her story by clicking on “Maya’s Story” at the top of the page.
Happiness at the Core started before I was pregnant with Maya in September 2011. It was a graduate school assignment: Do something you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to and then present in a creative way. I have always prided myself on being a happy person. Those around me would comment that I was always smiling and spreading cheer. I had always felt the urge to write down my happiness story and write about my secrets to leading a genuinely happy life. So I did. The exercise was so helpful, I decided to ask others to do the same. Family and friends came through and I was able to compile a book of happiness stories, which I called, “Happiness at the Core”. I presented, aced the assignment, and made copies of the book. As I discussed the assignment with my husband, I casually mentioned a blog where I could share my happiness story and invite others to do the same. At the beginning of November, he surprised me with this website. On November 16th, I found out I was pregnant and focus shifted. I didn’t touch the site or ever start the blog.
When Maya died, my world came crashing down. My genuinely happy self, my happiness that lives at the core of my being went into hiding. As I have begun the grieving and healing process, I have found great comfort in reading the journeys other baby lost moms have been on. For now, this blog is for me to write and release the grief, fear, guilt, and pain that I feel. It’s for me to find the happiness at my core once again and live on. It’s for Maya to live on through me. Eventually, as I proceed on this journey, I hope others can find comfort and hope by reading my story.
Please comment as I would love to know who is reading and connect with those who understand my pain.